We all have our moments in life. A moment of darkness and a moment of brightness. And each of us have different ways of overcoming and expressing them. Some of us maybe just cry at night and sleep to forget everything or some choose to go somewhere peaceful to relax their minds and many more ways to make ourselves free from worries.
As I grew up, I noticed to myself that I'm the kind of person who always have hard times in overcoming or forgetting situations. It may be dark or bright one! When I was nine, that's the time when I started to be very sensitive to those words that I hear, situations that I see and to people that are close to me.
When I was in 1st grade, our family experienced a heartbreaking situation that made a six years old think deeper and be more serious in life. That situation turned a happy and a bright home into a dark of the darkest shelter. There was never a day that I questioned life. Why is this happening? Why in this home? Why at this very young age? It seems that time was not moving and I was stuck in a room full of thorns that has nothing to do but to hurt me every second of my life. I was eagerly seeking for comfort, but unfortunately that time was just a blur for me to have someone because all of us are in severe pain.
and that happen few days before Christmas...
In school our teacher told us to make a Christmas card for our Parents. The class was very excited that they brought so many materials for making the card. Papers with lovely colors, glitters, and many more accessories. I was smiling looking at my classmates while they enjoy cutting colored papers into a heart shape with "I Love You Mama & Papa". I'm smiling because I know that their parents would really appreciate a lil' kids present from the heart. After making the card we were asked to stand in front to show what we made and read the message we wrote. From the surname w/c starts with letter "A" after a few minutes, "D" is on turn. I walked to the front and showed a folded clean white paper with nothing on it. All of my classmates laughed at me and I just smiled as well. After the class, my teacher went to our house to tell my dad about what happened and so they had a serious talk. While they are talking, I can see my teachers face expressing anxiousness. I ran and locked myself in the master's bedroom and cried the whole night until I felt pain in my neck w/c made me to cry more.
That nightmare passed until I reached the age of nine. At the age of nine, I already had ideas in figuring out things in life. I knew how to handle and control my emotions when things goes wrong inside the house. One weekend me and dad went to the beach to watch the beautiful sunset. That disappearing of the sun below the horizon gave me an idea on how to keep my memories. When the sun totally hid itself and we headed home, that night I decided to start writing every moment/situation that I will be experiencing. For a year of expressing different feelings and emotions in a piece of paper, I put them all together, tied it with a rubber band, put it in a jar and buried it in the safest spot that I know.
Since then, eight bountiful Christmas passed and I am so grateful that it worked! Putting papers in a jar and burying them is not the thought that I want to emphasize. As what I said it was the sunset that gave me the idea on how to keep what's inside of me outside of me. As I looked at the sun disappearing, I see it as the moments/situation that is happening in my life. Because it disappears at the every end of the day there's a reason why it shines brightly every start of the day. No matter how terrible or worse things flow we should not forget the reason and the purpose behind it. We crumble and fall at the end of the day but don't forget that the dark beauty of the sunset benefits how it shines on the next day. We are being trained and molded by our past where we realize and learn something from it at present and soon we will be confidently facing our future!
As I grew up, I noticed to myself that I'm the kind of person who always have hard times in overcoming or forgetting situations. It may be dark or bright one! When I was nine, that's the time when I started to be very sensitive to those words that I hear, situations that I see and to people that are close to me.
When I was in 1st grade, our family experienced a heartbreaking situation that made a six years old think deeper and be more serious in life. That situation turned a happy and a bright home into a dark of the darkest shelter. There was never a day that I questioned life. Why is this happening? Why in this home? Why at this very young age? It seems that time was not moving and I was stuck in a room full of thorns that has nothing to do but to hurt me every second of my life. I was eagerly seeking for comfort, but unfortunately that time was just a blur for me to have someone because all of us are in severe pain.
and that happen few days before Christmas...
In school our teacher told us to make a Christmas card for our Parents. The class was very excited that they brought so many materials for making the card. Papers with lovely colors, glitters, and many more accessories. I was smiling looking at my classmates while they enjoy cutting colored papers into a heart shape with "I Love You Mama & Papa". I'm smiling because I know that their parents would really appreciate a lil' kids present from the heart. After making the card we were asked to stand in front to show what we made and read the message we wrote. From the surname w/c starts with letter "A" after a few minutes, "D" is on turn. I walked to the front and showed a folded clean white paper with nothing on it. All of my classmates laughed at me and I just smiled as well. After the class, my teacher went to our house to tell my dad about what happened and so they had a serious talk. While they are talking, I can see my teachers face expressing anxiousness. I ran and locked myself in the master's bedroom and cried the whole night until I felt pain in my neck w/c made me to cry more.
That nightmare passed until I reached the age of nine. At the age of nine, I already had ideas in figuring out things in life. I knew how to handle and control my emotions when things goes wrong inside the house. One weekend me and dad went to the beach to watch the beautiful sunset. That disappearing of the sun below the horizon gave me an idea on how to keep my memories. When the sun totally hid itself and we headed home, that night I decided to start writing every moment/situation that I will be experiencing. For a year of expressing different feelings and emotions in a piece of paper, I put them all together, tied it with a rubber band, put it in a jar and buried it in the safest spot that I know.
Since then, eight bountiful Christmas passed and I am so grateful that it worked! Putting papers in a jar and burying them is not the thought that I want to emphasize. As what I said it was the sunset that gave me the idea on how to keep what's inside of me outside of me. As I looked at the sun disappearing, I see it as the moments/situation that is happening in my life. Because it disappears at the every end of the day there's a reason why it shines brightly every start of the day. No matter how terrible or worse things flow we should not forget the reason and the purpose behind it. We crumble and fall at the end of the day but don't forget that the dark beauty of the sunset benefits how it shines on the next day. We are being trained and molded by our past where we realize and learn something from it at present and soon we will be confidently facing our future!
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